I don’t know what is keeping me awake. Maybe I am just excited for the weekend because we have a planned road trip to Newcastle tomorrow. We’re also joining our friends for jogging at 7:30 am in Waitara…so I am pressured to go to sleep, but the more I think about going to sleep, the more I stay awake.
My mind has drifted back to so many memories since I laid down on my bed. As I hugged my husband earlier who is already snoring in slumberland, my thoughts went back to the week leading to our wedding day, which was arguably the most stressful week of my life. I think I lost 3kg that week alone, effortlessly. I mean, I signed up for gym classes and did all sorts of diet to make sure I could fit in my wedding gown, but it was during that last week when my weight just went down to my *ideal* wedding day weight.
It was stressful because truth be told, I was disappointed with some of my wedding suppliers. Long story and not worth ranting about it anymore. But the epic meltdown (read: crying in bed with fetal position) was due to my original wedding dress that was horrendous to my standards. To be fair, I did not voice my objections right away because I was hesitant to hurt the designer’s feelings…but eventually realized that I did not want to march down the aisle with that dress! So I finally voiced my concerns maybe 5 days before the wedding, and they had to re-do another dress from scratch in 3 days, which is what I wore for the wedding. On hindsight, I should have been prepared to pay more for a dress I really wanted, or at least communicated more firmly what exactly I wanted and did not want well in advance.
I was also underwhelmed with the decorations, the pictures, the video, and should have ordered the tiffany chairs instead of the plain banquet chairs. I should have mingled more with the guests. I was too busy minding the admin stuff at the reception to make sure that my suppliers got paid, and did not really enjoy the party as much as I should have.
But in the grander scheme of things, these are all so petty. What matters most is that I married the best partner that I could ever hope for, the one God handpicked especially for me to be my life partner. We were surrounded by loving family and friends. We had a meaningful ceremony and exchange of vows. Every day I never fail to thank God for my husband and the love that we share, and of course our baby on the way.
Other things that I thought about are with regards to what makes a nation first world. We’ve lived in Australia for 6 months now and can’t help but marvel how affluent the middle class here are, compared to my native Philippines. My main point of comparison is their means to take trips abroad. Case in point- my colleagues who could afford to take trips to Europe and the US for almost a month on a regular basis. It is so normal here to go on vacations, and they do take their school breaks/ summer breaks/ annual leave here seriously. I consider myself as part of middle class, and just a regular employee. In this social hierarchy in a first world country, these things are a given. In contrast, traveling for a middle class person in third world nations is still considered a luxury. My parents have been middle class people but growing up, we never had vacations abroad. My first trip out of the Philippines was when I was awarded a university scholarship to study in Singapore at 17.
Well now thankfully my eyelids are getting heavier and I’ll try my best to have some shut eye for the activities tomorrow! Goodnight world 🙂